The kingpin of family, the small nucleus family is parents. Most parents love their children. But unfortunately parents are also not perfect though its difficulty for most parents to accept that. But don't be afraid to acknowledge where you mess up as parents. Just ask God to sincerely guide and help you by His Holy Spirit. But also learn to acknowledge where your own parents messed up—then forgive your parents for being human.
- Forgive them for the ways they hurt you.
- Forgive them for the times you felt ignored, slighted, or disrespected.
- Forgive them for the days that they were too distracted by their own problems to meet your needs.
- Forgive them for the times they embarrassed you in front of your friends.
- Forgive them for the times that they leaned on you instead of letting you lean on them.
- Forgive for the moments they weren't there for you, when they forgot to pick you up from school or didn't make it to your big school event.
- Forgive them for the devastating things, like abandonment, abuse, and addiction.
Yes, that kind of forgiveness is so hard to do, but remember these words I once heard: "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it just makes you free."
Jesus put it another way. "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. . . . Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:27–28, 31).
When we refuse to forgive, that past offense becomes an invisible cord connecting us to the person who did us wrong. It attaches us to that pain. It keeps us plugged in to the bitterness and anger and resentful feelings.
We must cut that cord or we'll never be free. We'll never more forward.
With forgiveness, we empty the hurt pockets in our lives. We release judgment. We bring all accounts back to zero. We offer it unconditionally, without worrying about remorse or responsibility.
Regardless of the offense, the only thing we can control is our part in offering forgiveness. So forgive your parents. Say their names aloud and pray blessings over them, like Jesus commanded. Do it every day if you have to.
This kind of forgiveness is the secret to emotional and spiritual freedom, and the only way to truly make peace with your past.